The Internal Risk Manager
Over the years, I’ve come to realise that there is a little voice inside of my head that seems to be responsible for assessing risk. I call him The Internal Risk Manager. It is a voice that I guess is there to protect me and at the same time it is a voice that, when listened to, often prevents me from taking risks and fulfilling my potential.
It is a dominant voice that sometimes runs the show when I am not present and aware. Quite often the voice brings indecision and a lack of assertiveness in life. I realise that this voice is a separate part of me, created by the mind. When The Internal Risk Manager is in control he holds me back from stepping into my greatness.
So, I decided to use a made up character, lets say his name is Truth, if he would have a conversation between The Internal Risk Inspector and Craig.
Let’s see what’s really going on here: –
Truth: Craig, does your Risk Manager have a name? Craig: No, just call him the Risk Manager.
Truth: What do you feel about him? Craig: Lately he is really annoying.
Truth: How is he annoying? Craig: He tries to prevent me from fully expressing myself. He is way too conservative. He’s like a broken record. Most of the time I know what I should do. I feel it in my heart. It feels right and I’m excited and then he comes online and creates chaos.
Truth: What kind of things does he say to you? Craig: He’ll say things like: ‘don’t do it because it’s too risky’ ‘maybe you aren’t ready yet’ ‘be careful’ ‘don’t expose yourself fully’ ‘don’t tell the truth’, etc.
Truth: How does this affect you in your life when you listen to him? Craig: I keep it safe. I don’t fully expose myself and share my gifts with the world. It stops me from following my heart and my passion in life. I become indecisive and instead of making assertive decisions, I procrastinate and stay alone.
Truth: What else? Craig: When he comes online I often feel internal anger and rage. This forces me into destructive habitual patterns to suppress the anger such as overeating, eating sugar, drinking alcohol, overworking in the office, hibernating on my own, etc, and I don’t engage with the world.
Truth: So what would you like to happen here today? Craig: I’d like to be able to acknowledge his presence and then make my own choices that are based on an inner passion and knowing.
Truth: Would you like me to speak with him to find out why he does this? Craig: Yes, please.
Truth: Ok, I will speak with him now?
Truth: Hello Risk Manager? Risk Manager: Hello
Truth:How long have you been trying to advise Craig? Risk Manager: About 45 years.
Truth: Wow, so almost the whole of Craig’s life? Risk Manager: Yes.
Truth:When did you first come into Craig’s life? Risk Manager:When he was a small baby around the age of 1.
Truth: Wow. Why did you come into his life at this point? Risk Manager: Because I realised that his mother and father made him feel guilty whenever he cried or got angry. They allowed him to laugh a lot but whenever he expressed himself in other ways they would tell him to stop and be quiet.
Truth: So, this made Craig feel guilty? Risk Manager: Yes, extremely guilty and he felt like he was bad.
Truth: So what role have you played since this early period? Risk Manager: I’ve simply been protecting Craig from getting hurt.
Truth: So what do you do? Risk Manager: I give him safe choices to make in life. If he comes up with a decision that involves expressing himself, being seen, or sharing his knowledge in the world I give him alternatives because I want to protect him so he doesn’t get hurt.
Truth: Do you love Craig? Risk Manager: Of course I do.
Truth: What might have happened if you hadn’t started to advise Craig during his early childhood? Risk Manager: He would have been severely ridiculed and wounded emotionally by his parents and other people in his life.
Truth: So you have been playing an active role in Craig’s life in order to help him? Risk Manager: Yes.
Truth: Does Craig know this? Risk Manager: I’m not sure because he never talks to me. He just gets angry and his body starts to contract.
Truth: So you don’t have a healthy relationship with each other? Risk Manager: No, I just do my job the best I can.
Truth:Thank you for your time. It was nice to meet you. I’m sure we will meet again? Now I will talk to Craig again.
Truth: Hi Craig. I have been talking with your Risk Manager? Craig: What did he say?
Truth: Firstly, are you aware how long he has been in your life? Craig: It feels like most of my life actually.
Truth: Do you know why he came into your life? Craig: No, please enlighten me.
Truth: He came into your life to protect you as a small innocent child. He saw that mum and dad weren’t happy whenever you cried, got angry, or expressed yourself as a baby and small child. Your parents used to say things to you like: ‘stop crying’, ‘why are you such a cry baby’, ‘you cry too much’ and they even hit you whenever you got angry or screamed. This was terrifying for you and you felt trauma from this. Your Risk Manager came into your life to prevent further trauma. He taught you how to behave in order to please mum and dad so you didn’t get hurt anymore.
Craig: Really? That sucks that mum and dad would do this!
Truth: They loved you very deeply and they behaved in this way because your parents were taught this from their own parents. Your parents were also trying to protect you from getting hurt in the world. Crazy, isn’t it? Craig: Now I see that both my parents and my Internal Risk Manager actually loved me and were trying to protect me!
Truth: What do you believe now about the situation? Craig: Well I can see clearly that as a small child I needed protecting. But now I’m a grown man. I don’t need to identify with this little boy anymore and I don’t have to always follow the advice of my Risk Inspector. I am running the show, not him. He is the one who is driven by fear.
Truth: So the Risk Manager is the one who is scared? Craig: Yes, I simply want to live a life of passion, not a life of fear.
Truth: So how will you behave moving forwards from this point in his life? Craig: I will make my own choices without the interference from him. I know he will still advise me but I am strong enough to follow my heart, to take risks, and to make decisions in my life with conviction.
Truth: And is there is risk if you make your own choices? Craig: No, I don’t feel there is because I would be living authentically.
Truth: Are you complete? Craig: Yes
Truth: Is there anything you’d like to say to your Risk Manager? Craig: Yes. Risk Inspector, I want to thank you for protecting me in my life, especially in my younger years. You have served me well. I know you will always be with me and I welcome you. You need to know that I am not a small boy anymore. I am a grown adult man and I run the show around here, not you. I know you will still try to advise me but your advice is based on fear from the past. I will not live a life of fear anymore. I will live a life of passion driven by my heart’s desire for love, freedom, and connection.
Truth: Thank You Craig. How else can I be of service to you? Craig: Now I am clear. Thank You for always being with me. Now, I am finally able to listen clearly to you without the interference from the Risk Manager My life is a blessing. Thank You.